Understanding Postpartum Grief: When Joy and Loss Coexist
Here’s something many new parents don’t hear enough: having a baby can bring grief as well as joy.
Not always the kind of grief that follows a death — but the quiet, heavy kind that comes from change, loss, and unmet expectations.
At the Center for Postpartum & Family Health (CPFH), we help parents across Houston, The Woodlands, and throughout Texas name and heal this often-overlooked form of pain: postpartum grief.
What is postpartum grief?
Postpartum grief is the deep sadness that can follow major transitions in identity, body, and relationships after having a baby.
It’s not the same as postpartum depression — though they can overlap. Grief is your heart’s way of acknowledging everything that’s changed, and everything you’ve lost, even within a beautiful new chapter.
You might grieve…
The freedom and flexibility of your old life
A career, friendship, or sense of independence
Your pre-baby body or athletic identity
A birth, feeding, or sleep experience that didn’t go as planned
The version of yourself you were before parenthood
Motherhood is full of love — but it’s also full of loss.
Why does grief show up after having a baby?
Because every birth includes a rebirth — of you.
And transformation always involves loss.
When the reality of early parenthood doesn’t match the dream, many mothers feel sadness, guilt, or confusion. Sometimes it’s compounded by other losses — the death of a parent or grandparent, the strain of a relationship, or the fading of old roles and routines.
Naming these losses doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human.
How can I tell if I’m experiencing postpartum grief?
You might be feeling postpartum grief if you notice:
A lingering sadness that doesn’t have a clear cause
Feeling “off” or not like yourself
Bitterness or guilt about unmet expectations
Emotional distance from your baby or partner
A sense of disorientation — like you’ve lost who you were
Grief doesn’t always mean something is wrong — it means something mattered.
What helps with postpartum grief?
Start with compassion.
Allow yourself to say out loud:
“I love my baby, and I also miss my old life.”
Both can be true.
Then, give your grief somewhere safe to land — a therapist, a trusted friend, or a postpartum group. Processing loss in connection helps you move through it instead of getting stuck in it.
At CPFH, our therapists help parents explore both the beauty and the heartbreak of new parenthood. Whether you need to share your story, learn coping strategies, or simply sit with someone who understands, we’re here to help.
Where can I find postpartum grief support in Houston or The Woodlands?
You don’t have to carry this grief alone.
Our team at Center for Postpartum & Family Health (CPFH) offers both in-person and virtual therapy for parents across Houston, The Woodlands, Spring, and throughout Texas.
If traveling feels overwhelming, we also provide teletherapy sessions anywhere in the state.
📞 Call 713.561.3884 or email info@cpfh.org to connect with a therapist who understands the complex emotions of early parenthood.
About the Author
Lauren Pasqua, PhD, PMH-C, Licensed Psychologist (TX License #36214) Executive Director, Center for Postpartum & Family Health (CPFH)
Credentials: PsyD in Clinical Psychology, Licensed Psychologist (Texas), Certified Perinatal Mental Health Professional (PMH-C), DBT and TBRI-trained clinician.
Experience: Dr. Pasqua has over 20 years of experience supporting parents, children, and families through life’s biggest transitions. She specializes in perinatal mental health, parenting, child and family therapy, and leadership development for clinicians.
Professional Profiles:
Dr. Pasqua leads the CPFH clinical team in providing compassionate, evidence-based care to parents and families across Texas, both in person and via teletherapy.
Last Medically Reviewed: October 21, 2025. Reviewer: Lauren Pasqua, PsyD, PMH-C, Executive Director
This content has been medically reviewed for accuracy and alignment with current perinatal and maternal mental health treatment standards.
References
- American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). “Postpartum Depression.” ACOG Clinical Guidance.
- Postpartum Support International (PSI). “Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders.” PSI Resources.
- National Institute of Mental Health. “Perinatal Depression.” NIMH Fact Sheet.